Wednesday night was the beginning of Vorpal TalesHoliday Special series, “How the Pirates Stole Yuletyme“, utilizing Onyx Path Publishing‘s Realms of Pugmire, and its newest supplement — Pirates of Pugmire.

But first a lil’ backstory on the center of our tale — Pawesome Junction.

Our heroes’ recent endeavours had taken them to the island nation called Pawesome Junction. It is a joint plastic mining expedition between the dogs of Pugmire and the cats of the Monarchies. The Dogs are represented by Sir Walter Wags Terrier, and the cats are represented by Duchess Poppins Gigglebottom von Mau. The Duchess is a tortie print cat, who is very shrewd yet trusting of those who impress her. The Sir is a yippie thing, small, with wispy hairs — he often described as so ugly he is cute.

Since our last outing with this game, Pawesome Junction has grown into a righteous trade port, with a large town square with hundreds of trading stalls, and large buildings of commerce. The Lizards run the commerce exchange at the pleasure of The Sir and The Duchess. There is a Sprouting Hops Tea House of Noodles in the thriving town square.

Originally our heroes helped a sous chef build out the Tea and Noodle House by reclaiming the Bar of Q — a spice brick that enhances the wonderous noodle dishes — from a dark undead spirit looking to sow seeds of disfunction in the newly minted township.

Later, the group aided The Sir and The Duchess as someone tried to assassinate Sir Walter. They learned from the lizards that a Simurgh could be summoned and give the truth of the matter. They discovered that the Duchess’ 8th Cousin, 4th Removed, Gunderson Shad von Mau (Gunshad) had made the attempt on The Sir’s life, and had summon a vicious entity known as the Nian to destroy the town. The heroes sated the beast by a Seasonal Summer Offering ceremony of a bounty from the town as well as giving up something personal of themselves. This is now an annual tradition in order to stave off the Nian from ransacking the town.

In our currently pending third tale, a Yuletree was being delivered from the woods near Pugmire, but was waylaid by pirates. It is this new band of old and new heroes who plan to set sail and find the culprits and bring the Yuletree to Pawesome Junction and save Yuletyme!

This is where we find our crew, they had been summoned to the joint tower of Sir Walter Wags and Duchess Poppins Gigglebottom von Mau, heads of state of Pawesome Junction. The Yule Tree has been absconded with, and our intrepid soon-to-be-pirates had been commission to hunt down the brigands who stole the tree, and bring it back to Pawesome Junction for the Yuletyme Winter Celebration.

After introducing themselves to each other and sharing stories of their greatness, the doors to the meeting room burst open and in strode the infamous pirate captain — Queso Blanco del Diablo el Terible. Captain Queso addressed the Duchess as “sister”, and from a conversation the Duchess had with hunter Samira — handing her the ‘Spacthula’, a great heirloom of the family estate — this relationship between the captain and the duchess appeared to be true.

The crew was asked by Captain Queso, to formulate articles that will bind the group as part of the ship’s crew. Those articles are:

    equal shares
    no canabalism
    no mentions of "balls" or "sticks"
    singing chanties for 5 minutes a day
    all big decisions made by vote
    dogs cannot chew on the ship
    consentful touching

The crew were bound to the captain and her ship after signing their signature to the document — which Queso quickly stowed away in her bodice.

From there they took last minute preparations and shipped out to the Acid Seas aboard the Courageously Confused Cockatrice. Captain Queso relinquished her position, settling for supervising-co-captain as the crew assigned themselves to the position of the ship:

    Captain: Renaldi
    First Mate: Samira
    Gunner: Sergio
    Ship's Magician
    Entertainer: Ham
    Quartermaster: Damascus
    Sailing Master: Queso

Now Captain Renaldi, with the guidance of supervising-co-captain Queso, sent them off after their initial quarry — a group of rat pirates who a modest amount of plunder and possibly information on who stole the Yule Tree.

The heroic crew surprised the rat crew, and quickly took them down with accurate shots by their gunner Sergio the not turtle, not single-scaled lizard. Renaldi organized the pilfering of their plunder, while Damascus the Sparrow fluttered over and threatened the life of the rat captain for information. They got a named; “Muggerton”. With that, they sailed off into the horizon of the direction of Waterdog Port, and more clues as to who and where and what of the Yule Tree.

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